It would be ridiculous -- wouldn't it? -- to attribute my hot bat to the fact that, after a long while, I had gotten laid? First off, I'd had a hot bat on Saturday, too, and on Saturday, I had not yet gotten laid -- unless you count getting laid -- by self-exile from my own bedroom -- on a too-short couch, for half of a too-short night. That night, I had been avoiding what I really most wanted to do, which was to jump the bones of my newfound girlfriend on just our second night together in all of human history!So -- technically, at least -- it wasn't getting laid that was responsible for my good day at the plate on Saturday. And so what, if I went three-for-four on Sunday? Large deal! I had gone three-for-four before, in my life... Not often, God knows, but it had happened before.Hell, I had gone four-for-four, even! OK, that was a while back, and maybe the competition in Little League hadn't always been stellar. But, still.I knew that the one common thread between Friday night and. "Well, if he don't want y'alls runnin' for sheriff, you better not run. The man is mean; he is real mean I hear. People get hurt runnin' afoul of him."I laughed and told him, "Pa and I kind of whupped up a storm on him and his two bodyguards."The first I knew Ma had joined us was when I heard, "Don't say 'whupped, ' David."Pa laughed and said, "Martha helped some. She knocked that Herm out cold with her purse." He didn't try to keep the pride out of his voice."Y'alls jokin' ain't you?" Jake's eyes were round with amazement. He just couldn't believe anyone would be brave enough or foolhardy enough to go up against Herm Larkin and his crew of toughs."Well, Walt, you're livin' real dangerous, y'all know it for sure." Thanks for waking us up. We had better head over there and take a look at things. If it was Larkin who set the fire, he did us a favor, right, Davy?" Pa was all but laughing out loud."Yes sir, he truly did," I agreed and explained to the mystified Jake, "I was going to burn.
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