"Jill have you had lunch yet today?" I asked. She shook her head, sending a torrent of inky black waves falling over her shoulders. Her bottom lip stuck out like a petulant child's and again I thought about all of the frustration that she must have given hundreds of teenaged boys early on, not to mention full-grown men in later years. I stood up and grabbed her hand."We're going to lunch and you can tell me about it," I said. "Everything seems to feel better when you share it with someone. Plus it's harder to be miserable on a full stomach. Didn't I teach you that when you were sixteen and trying to learn how to drive?" You mean when I destroyed my neighbor's fence and scratched my dad's car and you helped me rebuild the fence because he wouldn't?" she asked, smiling. I just nodded. An hour later, after putting away an order of fillet medallions each at Texas Roadhouse, Jill was ready to talk."Okay, Jill, why do you need a divorce?" I asked. "Start from the beginning and tell me. I've had to wear a pad for the last two days or everyone would know how much you are turning me on!" Now I need you to try and urinate. I won't watch if you don't want me to," she assured me."Well I didn't have any trouble this morning with four ladies watching while they held me in mid air!" I bragged.The seat was down, so Diane showed me how to pull the nightie up and hold it that way while I tinkled. It was much better peeing in the toilet than the bedpan.Diane wadded up some toilet tissue and said, "Important lesson time, when wiping the urine off of your vulva always wipe front to back and never re-wipe. If you do it this way it drastically reduces the chances that you will get a yeast infection."I did as instructed. It felt extremely weird, where I was used to having balls and Dick, were hairless smooth pink pussy lips. When I finished wiping, I just sat there and stared."Different than you are used to, huh?" Diane broke my contemplation."Well I'm sort of used to it, but just.
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