Let us wasteaway in unwise longing no longer."Beneath this was another note, the start of a story I planned to writebased on one of the dreams I had had (this one I remembered havingwritten):"The dead who had been peppered with bits of rose (the 'carcasses markedwith p?tales de la fleur') were to be brought back into town to be givenproper funerals, Mistress said. The others had, of course, been enemies.Who would come for them? I wondered. Would they even be collected? By thetime we arrived, the petals had dried and darkened, and the soldiers'wrinkled limbs were hard--even wearing the thick gloves I was--to touch. Irealized without any pride that I was probably the most educated eunuchthere. It hit me that knowledge isn't everything. Isn't it, like so muchelse, I asked myself, another invention mothered by necessity; a tool thecoward uses to protect oneself, reduce the riskiness of risks, make theutterly unknown known somewhat? 'It's a miracle,' Mistress said, 'thereare as few. 'A kilo weight please, Corporal.' Oh God! Why had she not noticed the battered wooden table in thecorner with the field telephone, the electric flex, the butane lighters,the pliers and needles and other things scattered on it! Shewatched the soldier rummaging through a pile of battered metal weightsShe bit her lip, her breath racing as panic filled her body. The one hefinally picked up looked horribly heav y … what was itthe Inspector had said? '…We'll start with a kilo!' 'Take a deep breath… you'll need it!' The woman hooked the weighton, letting it dangle against the post. 'There, come on, up you go…'she teased as M'bebe grunted with the first, cutting pull of the wire alongher slit. Automatically, just as the woman had known she would, the quiveringnineteen-year-old girl tried to ease the sudden pain by lifting herself ontiptoe as the weight pulled the wire taut. Only when she was teetering at full stretch, thigh and calf muscles alreadystarting to burn with the strain, did.
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