It is possible he will wait until I am near orgasm and then whip me, forcing me to have an orgasm while he hurts me. As he nears the bed, I adjust my position on the bed then freeze at his harsh look. My body is beginning to cramp from holding such an awkward position. He approaches me with two scarves. He gently turns my head away from him and places the first across my eyes. Darkness fills me, matching the darkness I receive from the pleasure he gives me. The pain allows me to roam freely in the feeling of subservience and submission. He turns my head towards him. I open my mouth anticipating the second scarf and too late realize that I must never assume anything. He quickly slaps my face twice and watches as the hand prints appear there. 'Now you may open your mouth.' He stuffs most of the scarf in, not bothering to tie it, knowing that I would no more spit it out than untie my legs. I am utterly his now. I feel only anticipation, thinking not even the simplest of thoughts and. You seek what you will never find because it is only exists in films and books. In real life we take what we can get and are grateful." How could I live with what she did?" I asked.She gave that infuriating laugh of hers. "Because you cannot live without her, nor without those other women from whom you also run. You can't even face them, so you hide. You are afraid that you will go back to them because you have no life without them."She is unfortunately right, at least emotionally. I had been living a lonely and purposeless existence until Annette came along. It's surprising the things that you miss. The way your daughter's laughs. The kiss your wife gives you first thing in the morning. The once a week call from your mother with all the family news, knowing she is only calling to see how you are doing. It's all a trap. Give in to it and they will tie you up so tight you will never get free. Annette has it correct – I didn't leave, I ran away. I can't go back, for I may never possess.
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