I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don't care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?Take my advice — I'm not using it.My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home. “Love the edge,” I said.“First time,” she moaned. “Very amazing.”We stayed like that for a while, until eventually, I saw the orgasm arise in her eyes, and I let go myself, shooting my cum all over my hand.“Cumming,” she moaned in the midst of her intense orgasmic breathing.My world was filled with the intense feelings of my orgasm, and the delightful sounds of her moaning into her orgasmic breathing.We watched each other like that until suddenly she jumped into my arms. She was crying, big tears rolling down her post-orgasmic cheeks.“Are you okay?” I asked, a little worried that we had done too much too soon.“More than okay,” she replied. “I understand how to live. I am crying for my lost time, when my pleasure was submersed in peculiar notions of a god, when I had to feel my own pleasure in secret.”I held her close, and let the love flow between us. Love based on respect and appreciation, seasoned with amazing orgasms.“Never with me do you ever need to hide anything,” I said. “Your.
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