Jess’s father is in his armchair, her mother standing behind him. Father looks bemused, mother looks scared and is clearly keeping the chair (and her husband) between herself and the dog.“Don’t worry ... He won’t attack ... Casanova’s comes from a long-line of lady-lovers...”Cut to Jess, in her bedroom, undressing infront of the mirror. She isn’t a glamour-girl, but she doesn’t look too bad. As her clothes come off we see her slight, pale, frame – she’s very slim, but has surprisingly large boobs almost spilling out of her black bra.From now on we cut back and forward between her undressing, Dennis telling his story, and various photos – beginning with a picture of a younger, slimmer Dennis with his wife, maybe 20 years ago, posing alongside a proud looking Doberman, Casanova I. The wife is ok looking but nothing special, Casanova I is magnificent. “When my wife, god bless ‘her, was young, she ‘ad a real fing for dogs, and I didn’t mind at all ... We bought the first Casanova and. I knew how to make three of the ten drink specials that no one ever asked for. The girls wanted something with an umbrella or sugar with an ounce of alcohol. The guys wanted beer. The cheaper the better. Nolan didn’t carry Natty Light. So I spent most of my night breaking off all ten pink fingernails on PBR cans. By eleven o’clock I’d forgotten why on earth I’d talked myself into this and wanted nothing more than to cuddle up in the fetal position with my thumb in my mouth. ‘Two red headed sluts!’ D-bag number eighty-nine asked. Two bubbly Tri-Delts behind him were gazing around trying to find themselves another warm body to get free drinks from. Eighty-nine had on some glitzy Ed Hardy shirt with a tiger trying to claw its way out. If I were on his chest, I’d try to get out too. His hair had been gelled to statuesque perfection. Numbering them off was necessary to keep tabs. There are only so many variations of button-downs, relaxed fit jeans and Sketchers a man can come up with. I.
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