As you may recall, I fell into an inappropriate, but wonderfully fulfilling intimate relationship with my step son, Robert, a little over two years ago. Robert spent the summer with me in a my one bedroom flat in New York City. Our intimacy started out innocent enough; I witnessed Robert masturbating one night while he was watching porn on the computer in the little office adjacent to my living room. I am ashamed to admit, that I was so aroused by the sight that I could not resist touching myself, and I got caught. Eventually, Robert convinced me to masturbate with him, which led to touching, fellatio, cunnilingus and ultimately intercourse. Robert spent the remainder of the summer sharing my bed with me. That summer remains the most intimate and cherished set of memories of my entire life. However, as beautiful as those memories are to me; I felt an overwhelming guilt from the fear that my weakness would haunt Robert, and could prevent him from having the type of intimate. How he hated this Sunday each year, hated the march of veterans, but was drawn in some morbid fascination annually. Each year, he observed the file of crippled soldiers, long since passed their usefulness to a society doing it's best to forget for the other three hundred and sixty four days, except in the glorified films of heroic deeds with John Wayne, or another popular actor, leading a squad of crack troopers into an impossible confrontation, with overwhelming odds being beaten at the loss of one or two good men. The anonymity of enemy soldiers forgotten. The smells, noise, disease, fear and sheer terror, somehow, not transferred by the silver screen and all the tricks of modern film making.He had watched the ruins of buildings being rebuilt, almost in an unseemly haste, as if to purge the lingering scars of destruction from sight and therefore, from memory. Mental scars could not be rebuilt or expunged from the mind so easily. Time was to be the only healer and that, not very.
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