The monkey mimed a kiss.“They were kissing too?”The monkey nodded his head.“So,” said the officer, “you’re saying they were drinking, smoking and kissing before they crashed the car?”The monkey nodded.“And what were you doing while all this was going on?”“Driving,” mimed the monkey.A couple were driving home late at night in the pouring rain when their car accidentally ran over a badger. They got out of the car to see whether it was still alive, and found that although it was very cold, the animal was still breathing. “What shall we do?” said the wife. “I know,” said the husband. “Put it between your legs to warm it up.” “But it’s all wet and it stinks!” “Well, cover the badger’s nose then!”A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some condoms. She asks, “What size please?” “Good question,” he replies, “ I’m not sure,” “Tell ya what. Right outside, there’s a fence with three holes in it, stick your dick in the holes and tell me which one it fits in,” suggests the lady.. "I want to make you feel beautiful," he said. Eva looked up at him, confused. He sat up and pushed himself away from her. He rolled her body back so she was lying down on the bed, facing up. He then moved between her legs, lifting her legs up and over his shoulders. "I want to know if you taste as good as you look," he said. He could hear Eva quickly take in a deep breath as his head moved down between her legs. He gave her little kisses on the insides of her thighs, and then blew on her gently. Eva lifted her hips up in an effort to bring his mouth closer to her. "Mmmm," he said appreciatively. "I can see that someone wants to be licked." His tongue reached out and lightly caressed the inside of her thigh, moving closer to her core. When he reached her mound, he let his tongue slide across one lip and moved to the other side. He then pulled back slightly to look at her. "Such a pretty pussy." She was brown on the outside, but a luscious pink on the inside, as every woman was..
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