I know he is a very caring and loving individual. I have a need to be with him. It is a new concept for me, but it feels right. My love for him is one reason I would get the surgery, but just one of the reasons. I really AM a woman inside. He would be the added bonus. Nice bonus, though.He has confided in me that occasionally he imagines himself to be female. It is not an all-consuming thing for him like it was for me before I finally made the decision to change. But I'm afraid that, like he once said, "the dam may break." If that happens I'll be there for him when the pronoun becomes "her." That may hurt me, but I do love him, so what he needs will come first.Over the last year or so I have met others like me and have begun friendships. One of these friends helped me work through some anger to find the love. I thank her for that debt that I could never repay. I have been guided by that love concept since.I have found courage lately through a friend of mine that has become close. Eileen insisted on taking the convertible and she drove as JJ sat between the two 'chicks'. The meal was fabulous and Helen and Eileen chatted constantly, he noticed they got along better than his mom and Tina. He knew however, if he brought this up to his sister, there would be a fight. He drove during the return trip and the conversation was between Eileen and Helen. The highlight of the afternoon had to be the waiter, having made a dozen trips to their table and each trip he stood over Eileen as he asked if he could be of any service. Helen and Eileen made fun of and laughed about him and his erection during the entire drive home."The party was the best yet Mom," JJ said hugging her, his hands capturing a breast."It's not over yet, I think you have a couple of presents you haven't unwrapped," she said as she nodded to his sister.Tina led him to the door, opened it and pushed him forward into the darkness. Reaching for the light, he was surprised to see the two girls sitting on his.
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