Leah leapt from the bed, dropping the shoe instantly. “I … I … was just admiring your shoes.”“You were sniffing my shoes!” Nichole almost yelled.“I … I can explain.”The woman paused, seeming to study Leah with eyes that burned with anger. With violation. “You need to leave. Get the hell out of my room,” she said, turning away.Filled with dread, Leah ran over to where the woman was. “No – I … please!” The desperation in her voice now halted the older woman. Their eyes met, Leah sensing that she had a split second to do her explaining.“I have never done anything like that before,” she began.“Oh? And why now?” Nichole asked, obviously genuinely surprised.“I think the shoes are hot,” Leah added, working through the emotions on the fly as her mouth moved.“You like the shoes and so you wanted to smell them?” she asked, genuinely confused.“I … I think you’re hot.”“You think I’m hot?” she gasped. Nichole was only a sliver over forty. Her beauty and elegance belied a woman who was perhaps not. I spin in my chair, and look at her... and sigh, and for the first time, ask my muse directly for help... "Why? Why can't I find the words to express myself? I feel the emotions, I mean... it's there... but it's not. It's been almost four months since... since Tabitha and I split up... and in that time, it's like I'm a faucet that's been shut off at the source. No matter how many times I turn the handle, there's nothing coming out."She avoids looking at me directly. She knows how much this hurts me... still... For weeks after our last fight, I was stuck in an emotional funk. It didn't help that I had seen it coming for weeks and weeks prior, I had stuck it out, hoping to find something to turn things around. Instead, every time we talked, afterwards, I would find myself analyzing what I had said, wondering what I had said wrong. But even seeing it coming, it hit me hard."It's because you haven't dealt with the emotions of your breakup properly", she whispers. Her quiet voice has sunk.
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