I pissed into the diaper again.We tried online searches for the German company, for electronic security experts, locksmiths, anyone who we thought could help. No site had the info I needed. Lila tried to be positive pointing out I had two weeks to figure it all out. I had several stiff drinks. At 7:55 the remote said ‘5 minutes until changing period’. Then I had to ask Lila a question I never thought I would ever have to ask anyone ?Can you help me with my diaper. I really want to get it off.? I hooked myself onto the bedroom cable. At 8 pm exactly the harness opened. ‘5 minute changing period.’ That was soon to become my favorite expression, it meant I would be clean and fresh smelling, if only for a little while.She had figured how to easily open the clothing latches and my fresh diaper was soon on. The rubber pants and suit. The harness would not lock. ‘Sleeper not detected. One minute remaining.’ I opened the package with the sleeper got into it and Lila closed. Memories came flooding back to me. I sat on the floor and curled into a fetal position. We never stopped making out. My god, no we had never stopped. The day before we had been caught we had been snuggling naked here. We had never had sex but ... we did a lot of other things.I couldn’t believe I had buried it. Of course I had never wrote about it anywhere. God help me if anyone knew. I started crying. I had wrote this out of my mind, told myself it had never happened. Not because it hadn’t- because I needed to write Suzie down to get on with my life. I felt horrible.I couldn’t go back here; as with all things well in the past, it was another country and the borders were closed. The couple who made love on that blanket were basically dead. Susan Levine wasn’t Suzie anymore, and I was most certainly not Johnathan Harris. They would have died anyway, true. We would be different people now; but we would have been different together and in totally different worlds. We would have either.
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