Upon returning home he tells his wife about them. “Olympic condoms?” she replies: “What makes them so special?” The man says: “Well, there are three colours - gold, silver and bronze.” “What colour are you going to wear tonight? “She asks wearily. “Gold of course, “says the man proudly. The wife gives him a withering look and says: “What about silver? It’d be nice if you tried coming second for a change.”A sausage factory owner was showing his arrogant son around and try as he might he found it impossible to impress him. As they approached the heart of the factory, the man thought: “If this doesn’t do it nothing will!” He showed his son a machine and said: “Son, this machine is the very the heart of the factory. We put in a pig and outcomes sausages.” Still unimpressed his son merely replied: “Yes, but do you have a machine where you feed in sausages and produce a pig.” The furious father thought and said, “Yes son, we call it your mother.”A young swimmer from the Australian Olympic. "Didn't I sign another one of these contracts just two months ago? How much are we spending annually on these company social events?" I replied with absolutely no enthusiasm. I don't like attending company parties and avoided them whenever I could. Shelly laughed and replied, "You did. This is not a party, Gil. This is a Masquerade Ball. We had record second quarter profits, and the COO wants to reward the employees." I grumbled and grunted under my breath as I signed the contract. "Thanks boss," Shelly snickered. "Enjoy," I flatly replied. "Do you have any ideas for a costume, Gil? If you don't, I have a few." Shelly teased me, knowing my dislike for company social functions. "Appealing as dressing up and mingling with my beloved employees sounds, I have a pressing, previous engagement that I must honor, Shelly. Please inform and apologize to the staff for me." I smiled, letting her know I had no intention of attending. Shelly narrowed her eyes, placed her hands on.
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