‘I love you Stephanie.’ ‘I know.’ Is all I can manage to say before I roll over away from him with tears in my eyes and turn off the lamp letting him know that this conversation is over. When I wake in the morning Paul has already gone and I feel sick at how I reacted to his words, he had told me he loved me and I really wanted to say it back but something was standing in my way and I think that something was Tom. I had already decided that it was Paul I wanted to be with and yes I think I am falling in love with him but there is still apart of me that belongs to Tom and I need to get that back, I need to see Tom one last time and make sure that it is truly over between us before I can commit myself to Paul. With that decision made I take a deep breath and reach for my mobile, I punch in Tom’s number and wait for him to answer. ‘Hello.’ ‘Tom, it’s me.’ ‘Stephanie?’ ‘Yeah, sorry did I wake you?’ ‘Yeah but I’m so glad you called, I was hoping you would I’ve missed you so much.’ ‘Look. .. um... it'll do... I guess," I said shrugging.I split the word "guess" into two syllables as I said it andsquirmed at the innocent way it came out of my little girl mouthand trailed softly off to nothing. "Geh-ess" - how awkward.Miss Bestin smiled at my unwillingness to accept all this. This wasa girl's room. A room for a little girl and it made me squeamish toeven be standing here in it like this."Oh come now," she said walking over to the doll display andpicking out a cute baby doll for me to hold. "You've been sad andmoody and pouty ever since your transformation. This should be thehappiest day of your new life. You should be jumping up and down onthe bed with joy right now - but don't do that or I might have togive you a spanking for it. Jumping on the bed's not allowed."I walked over to the canopy bed and reached up and felt along thelarge bed pole sticking up to the ceiling with the frilly canopy uptop way out of my reach. The mattress was so high off the floorthat it came.
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