"Sitting here, feeling sorry for yourself. Alone." Where had it gone so wrong. Was I really such a cold-hearted monster?" The questions I kept asking myself were creating answers that I didn't like, didn't like one bit. I kept sitting there, in the kitchen, my injured hand starting to get numb from the cold.My rage was now gone, my stomach roiling. I felt physically ill, perhaps from the sudden realization that maybe, just maybe, some of the things Jackie had accused me of were right. Did I fuck up that badly? Was I that much of a prick? Was she right? The vague thoughts began to crystalize, and my iron curtain began to shatter. It was then that I finally came to grips with myself, realizing what I had allowed myself to become.Yes, Tina had screwed up, but she had acknowledged that and came to terms with it. I had not. I felt destroyed by her adultery, but now I realized that I was not only hurt by what she had done, but also that my "manly" pride had been wounded, so that while Tina. Maybe my roughness had been the reason that none of myrelationships lasted for very long.I took a shower and was forced to shield my nipples and crotch from the flow ofwater or I would have started another round of orgasms, just lathering my bodywas almost more than I could stand. Getting out, I found a bottle of skinmoisturiser from my last girlfriend, I spread it all over my body like I hadseen her do many times after a shower. I could feel it soaking in and I shiveredas I realised how nice it made me feel.If this was how I felt with just the basics I realised I wanted to feel more,but I still didn't want to go all out. Remembering a movie I had seen, where oneof the characters had been a really hot looking babe in a manly sort of way. Iwent back to the box and quickly made several changes, stepping inside the box Ipushed the button.When I stepped out I looked into the mirror again. I was tall for a woman about5'10", but still shorter than I had been as a man. My chest was now only.
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