Dr. Miller went on to say that he was very lonely and deeply depressed after his wife's death. He began to dress in his wife' underwear, stockings, and heels and masturbate while looking at some nude photos of his lovely Carol he had scanned on the computer. He imagined fucking her dead body.That helped to release the tension inside him, but one day his daughter Abbie (who had just turned 18) walked in unannounced and caught him, she was obviously shocked and concerned but she explained to her at length what he was feeling. She tried to understand but he was afraid he had lost her love when she left the room that night. He worried about the situation all the next day and still had it on his mind after bed the next evening. But suddenly there was a knock on the door and his daughter's voice softly said "Daddy can I come in." He answered yes and she entered the dimly lit room and slid into bed with him. She told him she knew how hard it had been since her mom had died and how lonely he. Things started out pleasantly, Vicki and I talked about work, how they'dbeen getting on without me (horribly), how I was going to handle goingback to work, and so on. With the media circus surrounding me, it wassure to have an effect on my job, and she'd already been pestered forinterviews.Cindy was quiet, until she made the comment about Vicki and I "You guysdon't look the same anymore." It was true, Vicki and I had always hadsimilar features, dark curly hair, heavier set, round faces. Now, I wasslim, petite, and had long, straight blonde hair. That realization isall it took for Vicki and I to start crying.We settled down some, then Cindy had some questions, wondering if I was alesbian now, if Liz and I were still together, what we were going to dowith all of my old clothes and stuff I couldn't really use anymore.Despite everything that had happened, and changing my legal status, Ididn't really feel like a woman, I explained. I still felt like a man,and I still loved Liz. Liz.
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