For privacy, I threw the sheet over her, then crawled under it like a miner sniffing for fresh air... and I was sniffing! Reaching her treasure trove and putting on a bib, I put my classically trained mouth to work, humming Bach's third Symphony for Tongue and Lips. Hamhock's voice drew nearer, warning me to not be overzealous or I might contract her ailment.But I didn't care. With all she had done for me, there was no sacrifice I wouldn't make. I was thankful, especially for the kegel tongue exercises she gave me for my birthday. Now, I can lift a ten-pound weight by curling my tongue which also led to lengthening it to Gene Simmons' proportions. (I'm now incredibly popular in certain circles.) I dove in with great crowd support and began sucking mightily, like she was a Wendy's Frosty and I was the straw. Her moans were my first signs of recovery. Just to be certain I continued for another forty minutes, or as long as it took Hamhock to return with my Frosty. I also had to surface. "That's odd!" he thought.A few minutes later the three expensive cars pulled into the dirt lot of asmall sports bar. Rich exited his car.And left his shoes behind. They fell off his feet like they were suddenlytoo big!"What the f..." He put them back on. They were too big!"Meow" he heard again, as if a cat were on the roof of the car. Nothing. Nothing but a tingling on his toes.He tied his shoes on as tight as he could and went into the bar. Theyfell off twice.After ordering wings and an Oktoberfest beer from the bartender, Rich wentinto the bathroom. He sat in a grungy stall to check his shoes. Theyhadn't changed. His socks were loose as well. He pulled them off andlooked at his feet.His toenails were painted bright pink!And his feet looked smaller. Almost dainty!He sat staring as his feet and reached down to feel them. They were hisfeet, but they weren't. And that perfect pedicure to die for. Why thehell did he think that? Rich quickly shook his head, pulled on his.
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