”“What’s a dominatrix Momma?” Little Connie asked innocently. “Well honey, first you will have to watch one of these DVDs. In them they say words that your friends think are bad words. To them they are, to us they aren’t. Now in these DVDs you are going to this sorta stuff with a boy when you get older and you really like him. Understood?”Connie nodded, her eyes understanding and focused. Jennifer pressed play and a couple were banging on the kitchen counter. “Now Connie, this is called sex. True sex is when a boy sticks his penis up your vagina. A penis is what a boy uses to go pee with. There is also other stuff like right now,” she pointed at the screen. “The girl is sucking the boy’s penis. The boy can also suck the woman’s nipples-these honey (she said seeing Connie’s confused look) and the woman’s vagina, and he can also stick the penis up a woman’s bum.”At the word ‘bum’ Connie giggles hysterically. Jennifer smiled; it was good her daughter was taking it seriously. She didn’t. When we were younger, I protected my territory fiercely, hyper-alert for even the slightest hint of a come-on by other women at parties, and I believe I was physically capable of rending them limb from limb if they so much as smiled at Jeff in a flirtatious manner. Silly, now, to have wasted so much emotional energy on that kind of thing, isn’t it? I mean, if he were going to fuck around, it wouldn’t matter how she smiled, would it? The choice was in his hands all along. Perhaps now it’s in mine. About six weeks ago, just after my doctor discontinued the chemo, I had the idea of a strip club, the Déjà Vu, on one of Seattle’s busy streets. If I could get him in there, get him accustomed to watching other women in action, perhaps that would plant the seed. I’d watch the dancers, too, and see if there was someone in particular who he seemed to respond to. I’d know. You don’t live with a man for 22 years and not know, right? And so on a rainy Saturday night, I asked him to humor me,.
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