There is a thud and then another - Lisa isevidently removing her heavy motorcycling boots, and then, fully awakenow, I hear my mother go to the bathroom and return. There is moresubdued conversation and some soft giggling; and then there are othernoises. My curiosity aroused, I strain to listen to what is going on,but the ambiguous sounds are difficult to interpret, and in any case Iam drifting off to sleep again. My dreams are rather disturbed - Ipicture myself going to school in a dress and being unmasked andridiculed and running home full of embarrassment and shame - and I wakeearly.I hear the noise of soft conversation from downstairs. It seems thatLisa and my mother are already up, and I dress hurriedly. It seems onlypolite (well, that is the excuse I made to myself) to wear Lisa'spresent, and so I trip downstairs listening to the clattering of dishesand cutlery. My mother is evidently making breakfast. As I enter thekitchen, Lisa is sitting down at the table, again. She woke every morning and dressedas Melissa, she took her pills, she cleaned the house as Melissa, shewatched Melissa's favorite TV shows, went out and met people as Melissa,she cooked her meals and went to bed as Melissa. Allan was truly goneSummer was coming and she was learning to dislike the wig. Could she getaway with her own hair? She made an appointment at the localhairdresser."But you have such beautiful hair, and a lot of it" said the hairdresserthat afternoon. "It is short but we can give you a pixie cut, or maybeeven a few light curls."It was Melissa's first time at a salon, but she decided that she likedit, and that she would be going to the hairdresser more often. She likedthe pampering and the chatter. It made her feel more like the woman shewas."You have cut your hair," was the first thing Mark Dovey said to her whenthey met at the inquest."I am trying to change my life," explained Melissa. "I am trying to moveon. I hope that we can settle things after.
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