She was even more sexy and beautiful than the pictures she had texted me. A moment of doubt swept through my mind. Would I be able to please her in the ways we had talked about? Would my 50 year old body be able to keep up with a 27 year old woman? The thought of bailing out before she could get to the room crossed my mind briefly. "No," I said to myself. "She's driven over an hour to do this and that wouldn't be fair." I had met Allie on Lush. Searching for friends in my home area, she was the first one I had actually approached through a message. We chatted and something clicked. Allie had a keen sense of humor with just the right degree of smartass, amazingly was getting less than she needed from her husband and was looking to explore. I, on the other hand, was approaching my 33rd year of marriage and while still very happy, the proverbial fire had gone out. I needed to see if I still had it. If I could still go with the heated passion I'd had in days gone by. It had been a few. What is the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarrhoea? A. the oyster shucker shucks between fits.Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were. “I’m so tough” said the first boy “that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week”. “Well” said the second little boy “I’m so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans in a day”. “That’s nothing” said the third boy. “When my parents take me to see my grandma and grandpa, I can wear them out in an hour”.My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?” “The produce guy looked at me and said “No. You’ll have to do that yourself”.Dave had just returned from his honeymoon and was settling down in their new apartment. Coming home from work one night, the landlady met Dave in the hallway. She said “I have a.
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