He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds before he hits the rocks below with a ‘SPLAT!’As Paddy looks down he shakes his head and says, “Fock dat, did Budgie Jumpin is too fockin’ dangerous fer me.”This one is compliments of MaceA newly retired military man who’d managed to sock away a very tidy sum during his time in the service and now pensioned off having done his twenty years and making very good money from investments besides bought himself a house and looked for a golf club to join. Hearing about a rather exclusive country club nearby, he sent in an application.In due time he got back a response and was amazed to discover that quite apart from the stiff fees charged to members on a yearly basis there was an initiation test. Having eyeballed the course and thinking it was probably worth it, he turned up to the club.The club president proceeded. He made her turn around a couple of times. "You seen enough. What am I bid?" She was barefoot and stayless.The bidding went by fits and start until it climbed above two pounds, not a bad price for four years service from a likely wench. Then a porcine man bid three pounds loudly."You don' need 'er," the auctioneer yelled at him. "Y'got enough girls now." Runs a cat house, he does," said my neighbor licking his lips. "Wish I could afford her." Five pounds," I said firmly since I had a good bit of blood money, coins from dead Redcoats' purses.The girl glanced at me and then looked down at the floor again. The big man on the other side said, "Shit. Five and a half." I'm bidding silver," I said, "hard money." How about it, Paul?" the auctioneer asked.The big man pursed his lips. "He can have her." Going for five pounds, hard money, twice, sold right here." He pointed at me with his wooden mallet. "Sale's over."I stepped up, signed a paper for him and put the coins in his hand. He gave me.
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