Watch for an erection... nope, too small.It didn't help that girls are expected to be practically sexless. We're not supposed to want sex, we're supposed to use it. We're not supposed to be attracted to a male body; maleness is supposed to be an ugly and silly thing that we tolerate for its usefulness. Knowing that I didn't feel this way, and being encouraged to think I was alone in it, did wonders to isolate me from my own sex for fear of its judgment, and to make even just experiencing lust seem so taboo that it was made all the stronger.So, with a boiling sex drive I wasn't supposed to have, and very specific tastes that seemed unmeetable, I was almost convinced that I was somehow broken on both levels and that I would go on like this, desperate for the impossible, through the rest of my life.That's how primed I was for Kyle.Catching a lot of flak for being short and skinny and perceived as pretty feminine, girls called Kyle cute and treated him like a little brother; boys were. You can pretend to be a perfect little princess for everyone else, but I see a spoiled rotten little brat that is throwing a tantrum when she didn’t get her way.” There. I said it. I may need a new job on Monday.The next few minutes are silence until the cab pulls into her apartment complex. I resolve that I’m going to let her out and have the driver take me home. Kelly opens the door and spills out of the car, onto the ground crying. Fuck. Can’t leave her like this. I pay, get out, and hurl her arm over my shoulder and up the stairs to her apartment. She’s still crying.“Is Zach here?” I ask her. Hoping he can take over.“We don’t live together.” She slurs.“A roommate?” I ask.“Negative, ghost rider.” She laughs at her own lame joke.She hands me the keys and I get us both inside. I lay her on her bed and take off her shoes. This girl. God she’s beautiful, but fuck she’s a little crazy. I’ll be a good friend to her, but she needs to talk to Zach about how she’s feeling. Could I help.
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