" I said quietly, "I used to come down here at night with a few cans of beer and just think about you in there and wonder what it'd be like when you came home." Tommy." Shall we have a Barbie tonight?"Clapping her hands like a little kid, she laughed happily and damn near squeezed me to death."I'd love that Tommy, I'd really love that." Look down here mum." I pointed to a row of eight trees laden with what looked like small dark plums."Damsons," she said knowledgeably."Yeah and a guy at the wholesale fruit market says he'll give me thirty pence a pound for them." There are tons of them," she laughed. "Hey, I've not climbed a tree in years." Well, they'll have to be picked very soon, fancy having a go tomorrow?" Try and stop me darling." she laughed and held my hand as we walked to the car.Four years of frustrations, of fear and of regimentation left her that day as we went from shop to shop in search of God knows what. Many times I felt myself reddening when she came out of a changing. She smiled weakly at me, as she grabbed a box and hauled it inside. “Jen’s at Tyler’s for the next few weeks for summer vacation, so you can have her room”, she took the box into her daughter’s room. “You aren’t mad?” I asked, still standing outside the door. “Of course not”, she replied with some mirth. “We’re family. And besides, growing up, I always thought it was odd that some of my clothes would go missing, and return a few days later. I kinda knew you were closet cross-dresser. But if it made you happy, I wasn’t going to stand in your way, or rat you out”. She seemed to smile at some secret memory, and then she smiled knowingly at me. “Look, there are no judgments here. I love you no matter what. If you want to parade around as Michelle here”, she used the feminine of my name, “then that’s fine by me”. She help load the rest of my things into her daughter’s pink room without much more conversation, then excused herself to make dinner, and so I could put away some of.
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